Check Please
by Upggrade
Summary: Shepard and Jack have a nice peaceful breakfast at a diner. Well, as peaceful as anything involving both the Butcher and the Psychotic Biotic can reasonably be expected to be.


"Hey, you gonna eat that?"

"Mine, you have enough food to feed five lumberjacks."

"Prick."

"That you can have."

She rolls her eyes but he sees the smirk tugging at her lips.

"So anybody leave an apple on your desk yet?"

"Fuck no, they know what I'll do to them."

"Dote on them even harder?"

"What? I don't dote. The fuck does that even mean?"

"That adorable thing you do where you talk about them all the time and you know everything about them and you pretty much love them like they're your own kids."

"Aww, is somebody jealous?"

"Maybe, do they ask about me?"

"Yeah, and I tell them you're just some chump they put on recruitment posters."

"Probably for the best. If you told them the truth, they'd never want to talk about you again."

"I hate you so much."

"Love you too dear."

"Oh you did not-"

Before she finishes her threat each of them feels a cold metal grip around their arm tugging them out of their seat onto the floor while a synthetic voice calls out.

"Incoming fire."

A pair of Geth hunters materialize as the window next to them is shattered by a torrent of machine gun fire. Civilians scream and try to run, only to be cut down in the crossfire. The two hunters return fire while Shepard draws his Carnifex and Jack fires up her biotics.

"The one fucking time I leave the fucking house without a fucking gun we get fucking shot at!"

Ignoring her Shepard yells over the gunfire at the hunters.

"How many?"

"Scanners indicate six hostiles closing on this position, six providing covering fire from the second floor across the street."

Shepard chances a peak and instantly locks eyes on the Batarian mercenaries heartlessly firing through the panicked civilians, several already lying still on the ground.

"You two cloak and flank the ones covering, we'll handle the others!"

"Acknowledged."

The two promptly disappear from sight. He looks to Jack, who speaks first.

"Where the fuck did they come from?"

"No idea, gimme some crowd control!"

She stands and lifts two of the advancing Batarians off the ground, Shepard wastes no time punching massive holes through their chests.

"Damn, almost forgot how fun this is!"

It's barely been a year since the war ended but Shepard has to agree that he has missed the rush of a desperate firefight. Shepard and Jack return fire as best they can. The mercenaries take cover and pause for a moment to adjust their plan, they'd been counting on the element of surprise. Conspicuously the fire coming from across the street stops, the group completely unprepared for a pair of killing machines to lay into them from point blank. The remaining four mercs resume their advance until they're close enough for Jack to shockwave them. Instantly and without needing to communicate Shepard and Jack both jump through the window and rush them. Shepard shoots one through the throat while Jack warps another hard enough to blow off his head, arm and upper chest. The last two regain their bearings just quickly enough to see their ends coming. Shepard activates his omni-blade and cleaves ones skull. The final one tries to level his rifle at Jack but with a gesture she knocks it aside with her biotics before caving in his chest with a charged punch.

The fighting has ended but the square is far from silent, screaming civilians and rapidly approaching sirens fill the air. Shepard looks over at the building where the other group opened fire from as the front door opens, the two hunters ushering four prisoners out into the street. They push them down onto their knees and keep weapons trained on them until the police arrive.

Shepard and Jack look each other over, unable to fully conceal their concern. He gently takes her wrists to stop her pawing at him.

"Jack, it's alright, I'm not hit."

"Hold the fuck still so I can check."

She says it angrily but he hears the brittle note in her voice. He releases her wrists and she resumes feeling around under his jacket until she's satisfied. He wants to pull her close and reassure her that he's fine but they're not about to have an intimate moment right now. They stand in silence for a few moments tensely keeping their eyes peeled for more hostiles until a legion of police officers finally floods the scene. Sensing a potential issue, what with Geth troopers still pointing guns in an area that was just shot up, Shepard hurries over to the prisoners. The cops immediately defer to him, not only because of who he is but also because his spectre status is still active, making him effectively in charge.

Carnifex in hand he steps up in front of the first prisoner.

"Who sent you?"

The Batarian snarls up at him, hatred clear as day in his eyes.

"All the innocent people you killed on Aratoht."

Shepard raises his cannon and blows his brains out as casually as if he was changing the channel. All the police in the area instantly jump and go for their weapons. When they see where the shot came from they don't relax but they don't interfere either.

Shepard steps to the next prisoner.

"Who sent you?"

"All the innocent people-"

"Who sent you?"

"All the-"

He moves to the last but instead of questioning him, Shepard squats down and looks him in the eye.

"Batarians killed or enslaved 417 people on Mindoir. I killed 304,942 Batarians on Bahak. There aren't enough of you savages in the galaxy for me to kill to make up for what you did to me, but thank you for helping me try."

He stands and adds the last man to the pile before he can say a word. While Shepard was dealing with them, Jack had cornered the hunters.

"The fuck are you doing here?"

"We calculated an eighty two percent probability that you would be attacked at some point and wished to assist."

"How long have you pricks been following us?"

"We were dispatched when Shepard-Commander was released from the hospital."

"And why the fuck didn't you tell us?"

"We judged that, while Shepard-Commander would allow it, you would react negatively."

"You're goddamn right I'm 'negative'! We don't need creepy fucking robot babysitters following us around!"

"We do not tend infants."

"Asshole."

"We are merely providing protection."

"By spying on us?"

"We respect your privacy."

"You respect our privacy? While following us around FUCKING INVISIBLE?!"

"Jack, they did save our asses."

She redirects her glare at him, instantly making him wish he'd taken longer with the captives.

"You're okay with this?"

"Not with the secrecy but I do appreciate the help."

"Why? You know we can handle ourselves."

"Jack, we had no idea they were tailing us, and those squints got the drop on us. Clearly we do need a hand, I can't lose you now."

 _That bastard has to know how hard it is to stay mad when he says shit like that. Ugh, fuck it. I guess it is nice to know there's always someone watching his stupid ass. Least the lamps don't talk._

She crosses her arms and grits her teeth, directing the last of her fading anger at the toasters.

" _Fine._ But you better not watch us fuck."

"We do not."

"Good."

She storms off without another word. Shepard lets out a breath.

"Well, thanks for the save but I might need another one when we get home."

"Acknowledged."


End file.
